New Orleans Pigeons

New Orleans Pigeons. Wait. Pelicans. Sorry. The other shitty bird. As we all know, or don’t if you live under a rock, the Pelicans made the biggest splatter (pun intended) before the trade deadline by acquiring Demarcus “Boogie” Cousins. At first after looking at who and what the Pelicans gave up for Cousins, I thought they were a little crazy to give up their first round pick Buddy Hield (6th overall) along with a 2017 first and second round draft pick. There were other players they sent to the Kings but honestly, they aren’t worth mentioning. My original thinking was that they just gave up a ton of young talent. Then I thought back just a few nights before the trade happened to a game that Buddy Hield was called for a technical foul and was ejected. If you happen to miss what happened or why he was ejected…. let me remind you. Take a look.

The man straight up reached in to grab meat. He thought this was a grab and go at the local 7/11 gas station. A grown man was ejected for grabbing ahold of another mans pipe. Thats completely unacceptable. If this was a pick up game at the rec, you better believe someone is getting at least a 2 piece. You better be ready to fight if you pull a stunt like that. How Cousins didn’t put him to sleep right then and there is beyond me. Maybe he liked it? Anyway, Hield has got to go, and thats probably the reason they sent him to Sacramento in the trade.

Alright, lets talk about this professional basketball team they call the Pelicans. Anthony Davis is a beast. This isn’t about Anthony Davis. Demarcus Cousins is a monster. This isn’t about Demarcus Cousins. This is about the rest of the bird shit around these two guys. You have a bunch of bums that I’m not sure how they are in the league. Let alone the D league. Solomon Hill. The guy looks like a damn tator tot. If he’s not a made up player from NBA2k then I don’t know what to tell you. One thing I can tell you is, you cant be a terrible basketball player and look like an old q-tip. Absolutely no reason that guy should be making $11 million a year.

Lets move on to the next guard. E’Twaun Moore. This guy has played for more teams in the last 6 seasons, than the Brooklyn Nets have wins this season. Okay okay maybe not that bad but almost! 4 teams in 6 seasons? Why does no one want this guy? Is it his name? Is it because he goes off every night for an average of 6 points? Is it the 1.5 assist he dishes out per game? Again, Im not sure how this man is even in the NBA.

Jru Holiday. The smallest splatter of bird shit out of all the guards. He can at least average 14 points a night. Shit, Davis and Cousins have to score 45 each every  night for them to even have a chance. As long as Holiday can give them 14 a night, they might just…no they still won’t have a chance.

If you want something to laugh at, google the New Orleans Pelicans bench players. Those guys are doing absolutely nothing. The only thing they are good for is being hype men to Davis and Cousins swatting balls. And no, not swatting balls like Hield did, Im talking about blocking basketballs 3 rows deep. The Pelicans are on the fast pace to last place. I feel terrible for Davis and Cousins. Both of them in the top 5 in scoring this season and they have to watch this shit every night? I have an idea Alvin Gentry, every single play needs to be drawn up for the two big guys. Get the ball out of the hands of these other guys and let the big boys go to work. I really hope the Pelicans can make some moves this offseason to help out The Brow and Boogie. I know that one thing is for certain, they won’t be able to make any more trades with the guys they have.

By the way, after the loss to the Houston Rockets the other night, only 2 players had more than 12 points. Take a shot in the dark on who they were.  Cousins and Davis scored more than half the total points. It’s almost as painful to watch as it is to watch an episode of America’s funniest home videos. Ehhhh maybe not that painful. That show sucks out loud.

This is Anthony Davis after looking at the production of his guards the other night. His stress level has now caused his Brow to fully wrap around his head. This is just getting out of control.

the-brow

 

 

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