Sports Round-Up

Guess who’s back! I have been away for a month or so taking care of my beautiful daughter. So for that, I would like to take this chance to apologize….TO ABSOLUTELY NOBODY! 

 

There have been a lot of things going on since my last article. The NHL playoffs have arrived, the NBA playoffs have arrived, MLB has started, and The Maters came and went. I have a little bit to say about all of these things so lets get to it!

The NHL playoffs. Although I am very upset the Tampa Bay Lightning did not make the playoffs this season, I am pretty stoked for the years ahead for that young team. With that being said, I am not sure what brings me more joy, getting to watch the Lightning play for a Stanley Cup or to see the Chicago Blackhawks get beat!!! Not only did they just get beat, they got their asses handed to them! A first round sweeping of a team a lot of people including myself who had them making and winning the finals, is a beautiful thing. Break out the golf clubs boys. The Toronto Maple Leafs made the playoffs. Yes you read that correct.  Its been 100 years since they made it to the Stanley Cup Finals. Maybe not 100 but it sure feels like it. 48 years to be exact. Lets take a quick look at what was around 48 years ago. The gun slinger Brett Favre was making his first appearance from the womb. Neil Armstrong landed on the moon. I think that just enough sums up the drought they’ve been in. Austin Matthews is the only reason that team is there. That kid can flat out play! You get the chance to see two of the youngest and best players in the game play in these playoffs. On the other coast you have Connor McDavid and the Edmonton Oilers going up against the San Jose Sharks. Connor McDavid is something special. Led the league with 100 points! The next closest to him had 83. If you want to watch what could be a legend in the making… keep your eyes on this guy. There are a lot of close matches in this year Stanley Cup playoffs. Here are my predictions on what will unfold in the next few weeks. Eastern Conference Championship comes down to Pittsburg Penguins and the New York Rangers. I believe the Pens come out on top to make it to the finals. On the other coast I originally had Chicago winning it all ( what a dummy). My new prediction is that the Western Conference Finals will be the Edmonton Oilers vs the St. Louis Blues. I think Edmonton makes it way into the finals against the Pens. When its all said and done, I have cry baby Crosby hoisting Lords Stanley Cup. Hurts my soul to say but I think it happens.

 

The NBA regular season came to an end. Thank you baby Jesus. Was it just me or did the NBA season feel like it just dragged on this year. Maybe because I was over hearing about the NY Knicks trash can of a team, the Buss family feud, and having to hear people bitch about star players sitting out and “resting”. Im not even going to get into that nonsense so lets take a look at what the playoffs has to offer us. Right off the bat, two MVP’s candidates going head to head is the most exciting thing to me in this years post season. Russ Westbrook and the beard James Harden carrying their teams on their back. With that being said, I believe the Rockets win the series and Russ wins the MVP. Matter of fact, if he doesn’t win MVP, ill never watch another basketball game again. (That’s a total lie, I’ve said that about every other sport and I still get sucked it) Cleveland beating Indian is no surprise even though they have yet to play 4 good quarters of basketball. They have let the Pacers in and a chance to win every game so far. The Cav’s defense has been terrible. Its a good thing they have someone named Lebron James. Quite frankly, thats all you need. The Celtics dropped the first two to Chicago and then the injury bug found its way back into the Bulls locker room. Rondo goes and breaks his thumb. I swear, ever since Derrick Rose started his career with the Chicago Bulls, they have had nothing but back luck due to injuries. Derrick Rose completely laid a jinx on that team. Celtics needed 2 games to pull their head out of their asses to figure it out and I think they will win the series. The clippers going toe to toe (see what I did there) with the Utah Jazz. Blake Griffin out the rest of the post season with a TOE injury! I know that toe has got to be pretty large but come on! This is when you have to come up with and fake a different injury. I would have rather heard you slammed 3 fingers in the car door then hear your are done for the year because of your big toe. Same thing in football. Turf toe? What does that even mean?! Did you stub your toe? Do you have a hang nail? Just not a good look in my opinion. The Clippers are doomed again. Here are my predictions. Spurs vs Golden State in the Western Conference Finals with Golden State getting to the finals. Eastern Conference Finals will be Celtics and Cav’s with the Cav’s reaching the finals. In the end I have Golden State Warriors and Kevin Durant as the NBA champions. Wooptidoo.

 

The MLB season finally arrived and it got off to a pretty good start. The Baltimore Orioles jumped out to the best record in the majors in the first 2 weeks by going 11-4. Surprisingly the Toronto Blue Jays had the worst start than the rest of the league at 4-12.  Eric Thames is out here crushing baseballs like he’s playing on a little league field. The guy has 8 home runs already and thats 3 less than his total in any given season. Someone give that guy a piss test already! Bryce Harper ( my National League MVP prediction) is hotter than a Rob/Rex Ryan coaching seat. Madison Bumgarner wrecked his shoulder and ribs by trying to be Travis Pastrana apparently. Why the hell are you riding a dirt bike on your day off? Sterling Marte was busted for using steroids. 80 games unpaid down the drain. I  wonder if Andrew McCutchen snickered a little as he started walking back to his center field position. I am a fan of the suspensions length for using performance enhancing drugs. Seeing that its an unpaid 80 games they should take that money and pick a lucky fan. Its a long season ahead of us. Who will we will talk about the most this season? Here are my predictions for this year. Cleveland and Houston in the ALCS and in the NLCS I have Chicago Cubs vs the Washington Nationals. A World Series showdown between the Chicago Cubs and the Houston Astros. Both crazy young teams with a ton of talent. I think the Cubs have a little more talent and now the experience. They win back to back championships. The start of a dynasty.

The Masters. Sergio Garcia. I almost didn’t even want to write about this with how much I cant stand Sergio Garcia. If there was one guy on the tour that I wish came in last place every single tournament, it would be this ass hat. After taking that racial jab at my boy Tiger Woods, I want Sergio to hit every single shot he takes into the water. Even if there isn’t water on that particular hole, I hope he somehow finds water. I was fat girl belly laughing when he was starting to fall apart on the back nine on the final day. I jumped for joy when he pushed the winning putt right, on 18. Then he comes back and wins the playoff hole. I don’t think I have ever been so heated before watching golf. I didn’t even know that sport could make you mad watching! I was hoping someone wiped their ass with that green jacket before putting it on him. Oh, and another thing that just kind of irritated me, was the constant thumbs up and slap on the asses between Sergio and Justin Rose. I get it, you want to grow the sport and show good sportsman ship, but it really got out of hand. If I’m playing someone and there is more than $20 on the line, I’m not even going to look at you! These guys had $2 million on the line and they are over here giving each other massages on the 17th tee box. I need to feel like I’m watching a battle. Not seeing who gives the best high five or thumbs up! Cut the shit.

Anyway, we have the NFL Draft coming up in less than a week. Another draft to see how horrendous Mel Kiper Jr.’s mock draft board looks. I want that job. Other than being a weather man, its about the only other job you can be completely wrong every single time and still catch no heat for it. When is someone going to call him out? He sucks. Pay me in chipotle gift cards and Ill give you a better mock draft than that jabroni.

Who is the GREATEST Athlete of ALL time?

Such a vague question. Who is the greatest athlete of all time? Yes its hard to compare certain players from all different sports but you can get an idea of who is the greatest athlete. Listen to what I’m saying you knuckleheads.  Athlete. Incase you’re not sure what athlete means let me give you a quick run down. A word that many people do not understand. Here is the definition of an Athlete. A person who is proficient in sports and other forms of physical exercise. You catch the ending of that? Other forms of exercise. So before you start shouting out some names lets hit on some criteria.

1. Each athlete has his/her own accomplishments in their specific sport. For example; Self accomplishments such as MVP’s, records they set, their overall career stats, how many all star games they’ve been a part of (this part is a little sketchy because of fan votes), also how many seasons or years they played in their sport.
2. How long were they better than every one else. If it was 1-2 years, please save me the hassle of having to read your shitty opinion. How much better were they than the rest of the field. Was it a night and day difference? Was is obvious that they were the king/queen of the sport at the time?
3. Were they consistently great at what they did? Not a year here and then 3 years later great again. Im talking every year.
4. What was in the impact they had on their specific team or the sport in general? If a player comes to mind who was involved in a team sport, if you took them off the team, would there be a dramatic drop off? What type of impact did they have on the sport all together?
5. Could they do things that other players just could not do if their life depended on it?
6. Did they shine in multiple sports or different athletic things other than the main sport they played?
7. Did other players/coaches hate playing against or fear having to play against them?

These are some things to consider before shouting out a name. If they don’t meet the criteria above, then I don’t want to hear it. Now, put on your thinking cap and rattle off who you think was the GREATEST ATHLETE of ALL TIME? Let the fun begin.

Of course, I have to let you know who I think is the greatest ATHLETE of all time. In MY opinion the greatest athlete is…… que the drum roll….. BO JACKSON!! The guy was a freak of nature and hits on every single criteria I mentioned above. Please take 6 minutes of your life and watch this video.

The Year of Championships

What a year it was to be a sports fan. There were some exciting games, some were stressful, and there were some flat-out unbelievable comebacks. In my opinion, this was probably one of the best years for sports. Every once in a while you watch a championship series of a certain sport and think “damn, that’s one of the best games I’ve ever seen”! For me, this was the year that really stood out to me. The NBA finals, World Series, NCAA National championship, and the Super Bowl all blew my hair back. One after another, each championship game/series left me borderline speechless. What do you think was the best championship game/series of this past year?

The Cleveland Cavaliers. Lebron finally brings home a championship to the city of Cleveland. After all those years of shitty sports teams, Lebron put them on the map. We know damn well the Cleveland shit stain Browns aren’t getting anywhere near a trophy anytime soon. The Indians, well we will cover them in just a bit with the world series. But back to the NBA finals. Golden State Warriors and the Cavs. The rematch. Can Steph Curry do it again? Well, after the first two games everyone started to think so. The Warriors out scoring the Cavs 214- 166. Two blow out games.  Lebron’s hair-line creeping further and further back. Jump to game 3. Lebron puts on a show shooting for 32 points.  A blow out win for the Cavs. Quick side note. At the time, I was pissed that I was watching the NBA finals and each game was a blow out. This was the finals correct? It’s unacceptable for the top two teams of the league to allow the other team to blow them out. Anyway, game 4 was a little closer and the Warriors were up 3 games to 1. Steph Curry hitting shots from half court all while chewing on that gnarly mouth piece. Draymond Green’s big ass head smiling from year to year and pretty much saying it was over. There was no way that the Warriors were losing this series. To much offense. Siiiiike. Bron Bron shoots for 41 in game  5, and then another 41 in game 6. Did someone say game 7? No one would have everrrr guessed (rolls eyes). Well, we all know what transpired next. Cleveland wins its first championship in 52 years. 52 years? Wow it must suck to live in Cleveland. What was more impressive, the comeback of down 3-1 to win it all or the resurgence of Lebron’s hair line? I’ll go with the hair line.

3 months later Cleveland is at it again in the World Series. Which by the way, why the hell is it called the “World” Series? That is a rhetorical question. I know why it’s called that but it just doesn’t make sense to me. The world baseball classic should be called the world series. After all its teams from all over the world. Sorry, completely side tracked there.. Back to the 2016 World Series.

The Chicago Cubs vs. Cleveland Indians. Two teams who haven’t won a championship since dinosaurs were around. I am not going to lie, I was rooting for the Cubs to take it all. I am a big fan of Joe Maddon for obvious reasons (Rays coach ’06-14). This was going to play out to be another thrilling yet unbelievable come back. Steve Bartman was shitting his pants every single pitch as he was hiding away on the side of a mountain somewhere. Who knew that Joe Ma would have the cubbies playing in the world series only two seasons in? I had a feeling when he left Tampa that he was destined for something great. He could now spend more than $35 and a 10 piece spicy nugget for players. Chicago is loaded with young talent at all positions. The World Series started off not how they expected. Corey Kluber out dueling the veteran Jon Lestahhh in game one. The cubs needed to at least split games in Cleveland to gain some confidence going back to Wrigley field. The more I look at the name Wrigley the more strange it becomes. Jake Arrieta pitched a gem and the cubbies took game 2. Chicago was boomin.  I mean for crying out loud, it was 1908 since the city witnessed a world series win. Do you know what was around in 1908?? Me either. Thanks to google though, I found out. The Wright brothers introduced something called an air-o-plane. Henry Ford released the first affordable automobile. I mean shit, we are almost at a point now where both of those things combined as one will be around. Scary. To say the least, Chicago Cubs fans were ready to break the curse. Ready to snap the 7 consecutive world series losses. Then game 3 and 4 came and went. All of a sudden there they are again, staring at a 3-1 game deficit. If only Moises Alou would have grabbed Bartman by his big ass ears and pulled him over the railing. I always wonder what I would have done in that situation. I would have tossed him over the rail, Stone Cold Steve Austin a beer or two and then gave him a flying elbow drop off the left field railing. Can I get a “OH HELL YEA”! Stop me if you heard this before but the Cubs had a mountain to climb. Tossing Lester and Arrieta the next two games and winning both. Dun DUN DUNNN. Game 7! The whole world watching. Will the cubs finally win a world series?! Will the Indians follow pursuit of the Cavs and bring home a 2nd championship to the city of Cleveland? 6-6 at the end of the 9th inning. Game 7 and its going into extra innging’s. You couldn’t have written the script better. Top of the 10th inning and the cubs are ready to party. This is how the top half of the inning played out. Lead off single, intentional walk, double, intentional walk, and a single. Next thing you know the cubs are up 8-6. The rest is history. Joe Maddon and the Cubs have done it. The unthinkable. Coming back from  3 games to 1 and winning its first championship in a million years. I was so excited for Joe Ma and my man Zobrist for winning it all. One of the greatest World Series I’ve ever watched.

 

Lets jump to a few months later and this time its the NCAA National Championship game. Alabama vs. Clemson. The rematch. Two of the top defenses in the country. The best quarterback in college (Watson) vs. the greatest college coach (Saban). My money was on Clemson. Deep down I thought Alabama was going to win. Over the next 4 hours, there were a lot of beers pounded and a couple changes of underwear. This game was ridiculous. After two quick long runs for a touchdown by big Bo Scarbrough, I thought for a second this game was going to get out of hand quickly. Clemson never quit and just kept pounding away. *That’s what she said*. Going into half time Alabama up 14-7. Exchanging touchdowns and bama kicking a field goal, the score was 24-14 Alabama going into the 4th and final quarter. This is when shit starts to get crazy. This guy by the name of Mike Williams, who I think may end up on the Tampa Bay Buccaneers next season, started making some pretty unbelievable catches. Clemson took the lead with 4:38 left on the clock. Up 28-24. Still plenty of time for Saban to work some of his magic. First, let me say real quick that Jalen Hurts doesn’t have a very good arm. Good thing the man has some wheels though. Clemson was ready to shut it down and hit the strip clubs along Dale Mabry. All they needed to do was to stop Alabama on a 4th and 1. Well, the crimson tide had other plans. Not only did they convert the 4th down, but a few plays later, Hurts laced up the Nike’s and took off for a 30 yard touchdown run. Now up 31-28. Raymond James stadium is rocking. Dabo just shit his pants. 2 minutes and 7 seconds left in the game down by 3. Deshaun Watson puts on the Jansport backpack and carries his team down the field. Clemson is on the 2 yard line with 8 seconds to play. Championship is on the line. A quick pass to Renfrow for the touchdown! The unthinkable happened. Nick Saban was just handed his first championship loss. Deshaun Watson takes off running down the field like Will Farrell does when he goes streaking in the movie Old School. The Clemson Tigers have won the national championship. Vegas goes crazy and I stumble to the fridge for another cold one. This was one of the best if not the best college football championship game I have watched. I know, I have said that about the previous 2 sports championship games but that’s why this is called the year of championships! The only other college football game that I think may top that game was the Vince Young vs Reggie Bush national championship. The only reason I would say the USC vs Texas game was more thrilling is that they just dropped the gloves and went back and forth each drive. Instant classic.

Andddddd now we are at the Super Bowl. The Patriots *rolls eyes* and the Atlanta Falcons. I can not stand the New England Patriots. Being a Colts fan, I just despise the hell out of those guys. Tom Brady. Bill Belichick. The only reason I hate them is because they are so damn good. Honestly, its hard for me to admit it but Jesus, that Brady guy is unbelievable. Super Bowl 51. The high power offense of Atlanta vs the stingy defense of the Patriots. I’m not going to lie, I had my money on the Falcons to pull this one off. I thought there were to many weapons on offense for the Patriots to stop. The first half showed exactly what I was thinking. Everything that happened in this game is just mind blowing. Brady throws a pick 6. I don’t think I have ever seen that. Falcons put up 21 points at half to New Englands 3. The Patriots were lost like a whore in church. They had no answer for anything in the first half. Im not sure what happened at half, if it was Lady Gaga jumping from the roof or if Gronk went in the locker room to give one of his dumbass speeches, but the Patriots came out of the locker room a whole new team. I don’t think there is a better team at making half time adjustments than good ole Belichick and the boys. Don’t get me wrong, the Patriots made adjustments and came out to play in the second half but I think even more than that, the Falcons just took a massive shit. Im not sure what they were thinking in the second half but I can tell you, it wasn’t about stopping magnificent Tom Brady.  At the end of the 3rd quarter the Falcons were up 28-9. Pretty much a wrap right? Ehhhhh. Brady had other plans. He wanted to humiliate Roger Goodell and make him hand that damn Lombardi trophy to him and Robert Craft. So Brady got to work. Doing what Brady does, marches his team up and down the field and cutting through the defense like a warm knife through butter. Even though the score was close, the stats show otherwise. The Falcons only converted 1 third down conversion all game. ONE! That is not good. Time of possession was a landslide for the Patriots. The Patriots dominated the second half and tied the game up to push it to overtime.  Thankfully when the Patriots won the overtime coin toss, they didn’t pull a Matt Hasselbeck and tell the ref “we’ll take the ball, and we’re going to score”. Right on Matt. We all know what happened next. Not the Patriots. Not Tom Brady. They win the toss and do what they do best. Drive right down the field to set up what will be the greatest come back win in super bowl history. James White runs it in from about 6 yards out. Game, Blouses. They did it.. Tom Brady wins Super Bowl number 5. Making him the most decorated man in football. I am going to make a statement that I NEVER thought I would say. It takes a lot for me to say this especially with the amount of hate I have for this bastard but, TOM BRADY IS THE GREATEST QUARTERBACK OF ALL TIME.  There I said it and I just threw up. Okay okay enough of loathing of the guy. I still can’t believe they came back to win that game. Greatest Super Bowl ever? It’s definitely right there if not the best. Still hate them.

What a crazy year it was. Too bad none of them were the teams I root for. From the look of things, I may be like those Cubs fans waiting 200 years for a Commissioners Trophy.

What do you think was the best championship series of the last year? How would you rank these series to others in the past? What is your favorite championship game/series you have watched? My favorite championship game came in 2007, Super Bowl XLI. The Indianapolis Colts win the Super Bowl. Manning wins MVP and I cry while being carried around a Buffalo Wild Wings restaurant by a 6’4 220 pound man. That day I will never forget.