Worst Owner in ALL of Sports

Stuart. Fucking. Sternberg. a.k.a. Shit For Brains.

Where do I even start?  I feel as if I have just been slapped in the face with a giant dick. Terrible analogy? Whatever. But seriously, what in the actual fuck is with this clown. Dual Cities?! Half season swap?! What?????

For those of you that have zero idea what I’m talking about, please, just take 5 minutes of your day and let your brain be put in a blender. Here is an article from Marc Topkin on todays most embarrassing day for the Tampa Bay Rays..

Uhm, what? What? A major league team in two countries? The SAME team in two different countries?! Splitting half of the seasons home games between two countries. I still can’t believe what I am saying. I don’t even know what I’m saying! Is this real? Who’s fucking with me? Just when I thought this asshole of an owner couldn’t get any worse. Please Stuart, Ill hold your fucking beer. Lets see what you got up your kippah this time.

I want to know if this was all his idea or if there is another senseless idiot thats behind this as well. Well, I guess Stephen Bronfman is just as stupid. Maybe not quite to the level of Stuart but almost there. For Brian Auld to stand up there today and back this idea, just makes me lose respect for him too. I get it, the man pays your bills, but you can’t possibly think this is a good idea.

As a die hard Tampa Bay Rays fan, this has been just embarrassing and down right disgusting to watch unfold. What does it take to get an owner of a team fired? Raiders fans reading this looking for the same answer. This whole idea isn’t going to happen. The mayor of St. Petersburg has already shut it down. Not completely though.

If big bad Stuart wants to split the season between two countries, then he is going to have to pay for his own stadium in St. Petersburg. There will be no city funding from the city to help build a new stadium. I want to remind you that while the Rays were locked into an agreement for a stadium in Ybor, Stewie went and purchased the Tampa Bay Rowdies and the land that the stadium is on. This just so happens to be conveniently located on the water in St. Petersburg. Just 5 blocks away from the Trop.

This cheap fuck didn’t want to put up more than a quarter of the price for a new stadium in Tampa and expected the city and everyone else to pay for it. Then as they are trying to figure out funding this asshole purchased the Rowdies for “millions”. How many millions? No idea. I know that its not anywhere near the millions they were asking for to build a new stadium. Now the rays are locked into playing all home games at the Trop until 2027. They want to start the move in 2024. I think he forgot that he has to get permission  before they could even do that. Anddddddd shut down immediately by Kriseman.

Did he purchase the Rowdies to just kick them out and build a new baseball stadium there? Will that be the next spring training home? Will Stuart be the one who pays for the $150 million MLS franchise fee and then turn around and sell the team for way more than he purchased it? Use that money to build a new stadium here? In Canada? Who fucking knows!

He has been running the Rays since 2005 and he just now purchased a home in St. Petersburg. That’s 14 years later. Take your stale ass back to NY you joke of an owner. While you’re at it, you can take your pocket holder Matt Silverman with you.

What fan is going to want to support a team for 30 games of the season and then just watch them ship off to another country for the rest of the year and just watch on TV.  For most of you I guess this whole thing doesn’t matter seeing you don’t go to the games anyway. I haven’t even touched on the players side of things. You expect these players and families to just pick up their life and move to a different country every year?

Stuart had the audacity to say “this will be great for both cities.” How?! He really thinks that the fine residents of Montreal CA will travel to St. Petersburg FL and boost the economy as well as the attendance. Excuse me, what? You can’t get people to sit in an hour of traffic to come over a bridge and you think people of Montreal are going to flood the gates at the Trop? What a fucking lunatic.

I don’t even know why I am so angry because this bullshit isn’t even going to happen. Im more upset that I have to sit here, time and time again, to defend this baseball team and their decisions. Thats what we do as fans, right? I will no longer try to defend this fool. How do people put money in that guys pocket after being shit on.

Split home games? Two countries? Absolutely mind boggling.

 

 

NBA Frenzy

The NBA free agency has kicked off in awesome fashion yet again. Why is it that every off season seems like it’s all of the top names signing somewhere? Everyone loves this time of year unless you are a New York Knicks fan. I mean, at what point does grabbing your ankles get tiring? “Ahhh shit, its finally our turn”. “NBA 2020 Finals, here we come!” Scroll through your twitter weeks before the draft and I guarantee you that there will be a minimum of 10 tweets from Knick fans.

Zion Williams off to the Pelicans. They have to land Kyrie, right? Wrong. They have to sign Keven Durant, right?! Wrong. They have to bring in Jimmy Butler then, right?!! Wrong. The Knicks just went out and grabbed the best player available in their eyes, Julius Randle. Sweeeeeet pick Dolan. You want to see how big of an idiot this guy is??

The Knicks and owner Jim Dolan were not prepared to offer Kevin Durant a full max contract due to concerns over his recovery from the Achilles injury, league sources tell me and @wojespn. Knicks officials are in Los Angeles tonight, meeting with free agents such as Julius Randle.

— Ramona Shelburne (@ramonashelburne) June 30, 2019

For fucks sake Dolan. This can’t be serious. Your team is shit. It has been shit for a very long time. You traded away a force in Porzingis. You lost out on Zion. You couldn’t get Kyrie to come. You didn’t want to offer a max contract to one of the best players to touch a basketball? I hope his head gets ripped off for this. And I’m not even a Knicks fan. I just hate shitty owners…(see last post).

Brooklyn stand up! Cough up a lung, where I’m from, Marcy son, Ain’t nothing nice,
mentally been many places but I’m Brooklyn’s own. No? Getting a big “me” guy in Kyrie and rumor has it, the owners of the Nets, do not have the same shitty mentality as Dolan, and will offer KD a max. The more I think about it, KD having one leg, playing in a wheelchair, still deserves a max offer if you’re the Knicks. Oh, forgot to mention that DeAndre Jordan is expected to sign in Brooklyn as well. Big time L for the Knickerbockers.

Jimmy Butler to the heat. Who is going to be the first guy Butler lays into? Jimmy Buckets will look in black and red though. Even with that sick Miami Vice theme. His hair goes well with that.

Big Al Horford signing with the Sixers. I actually really like this signing. Big 3 in Philly. As in big guys. Horford, Harris, and Embiid. Ben Simmons. Richardson on the way. I have believed that the Sixers are almost there. Just almost.

The real asshole clincher is waiting for the Klaw to make his move. All signs lead to him staying in Toronto. Small signs. Wearing a Blue Jays jersey around, rumors of real estate purchase in Toronto. Just when you start to feed into those subtle hints, you get railed by a doubled sided. Will he end up on L.A.? If so, I’ll be one of the idiots that are saying “Lakes 2020 Champions”. Bron has already proven that he can make the finals with the slightest amount of help. Can you imagine a team with Lebron, Anthony Davis, AND Kawhi Leonard? Holy shit.

You can always count on the NBA to keep their soap opera ratings through the roof.

Why the Rays will succeed in Tampa

First and foremost, today, July 10th 2018, was a huge day for the Tampa Bay region. Especially if you are a fan of the Tampa Bay Rays. Today they announced the plans for a new ballpark which will be located in historic Ybor city. If you havn’t seen the photos for these plans, look no further. Holy shit does this park look awesome. Before you even think about starting to bitch about their being a roof still, do me a favor and click the little ‘x’ at the top of your browser. Now this article is not about the details of the new stadium. This is about something totally different. There is something that stood out to me before the announcement even happened today. Let me tell you WHY the Tampa Bay Rays will succeed with being located in Tampa.

Something caught my eye just simply 48 hours before the planned announcement. After I tell you what it was, you will probably mutter under your breath and call me a lunatic. Driving through Tampa last night, you couldn’t help but notice the glow of colors coming from around the town. The buildings lighting up the sky blue and yellow. Now thats not something you see often. Or, how about ever. Yes you will see the buildings shine bright blue to show support for the Tampa Bay Lightning, but you have never seen them shine blue and yellow for support for the home town baseball team. Something about this really just tickled my ass. Was this the start of a town finally showing support for our baseball team?

Let me just give you a rundown of where this team is located right now. First, I do not want this in no way shape or form to make St. Pete sound like a bad place. Yes you’ll see your fair share of walkers (the homeless). Yes you will get your fair share of the smell of  piss as you walk down certain streets. Yes, you will find a great variety of bars and restaurants. Listen, St. Pete is an awesome little city. One thing for certain that its not, is a great baseball town. I have never, not once, seen that city get behind and support this baseball team. You can disagree with me, but you’re wrong. If you want to count the little shitty Rays banners that are on every other light pole on about 6 of the streets, then you don’t know what support is. If you want to count the little Rays flags hanging in about 3 bars, then you don’t know what support is.

You want to know what support is? Lets take a look at the Tampa Bay Lightning. You drive around down town Tampa and you will see “Go Bolts” banners damn near everywhere you look. You drive outside of down town Tampa and you will see large ass “Go Bolts” banners hanging from all sorts of buildings. You go into any of the strip joints along Dale Mabry and I can almost guarantee you’ll see a “Go Bolts” banner behind all the ass shaking. You want to hear something even crazier?! Go to down town St. Petersburg, rent your happy ass one of those little blue bikes, and plop your bullshit belongings into the front basket that has a TAMPA BAY LIGHTNING sticker on it!! Are you kidding? I’m not mad at all that the Bolts are plastered everywhere you look. I get extremely excited and amped to see it everywhere. What I’m pissed about, is the LACK of support for the baseball team in its own city!

I get it. I get it. The stadium sucks. I understand no one shows up to the games. Everyone is lazy and refuses to sit in 30 mins of traffic for a fun night out. You know what the issue is? Its not about the traffic over both bridges. It’s not about ticket prices being too high. Its not about having a shitty record. Its not about “trading away top players”. Its about support! Its about the excitement of a city getting behind its team. Show some damn support for your home town team and then you’ll see the results you want! Do you know how powerful marketing is? If Disney didn’t spend 2.1 billion dollars on marketing their subpar parks, do you think anyone would jump aboard and go wait in line for 3 hours to see a bunch of outdated plastic figures talking? No!! They market the shit out of their parks to get you, the customer, excited to stand in that line all damn day and sweat to death. You’re happy to do it because the advertisement tells you how happy you’ll be. Its not rocket science folks.

The city of Tampa really showed me something these last 2 days. You go down to Ybor and you will see the Rays logo and banner now on the outside of the trolly. You will see the buildings glowing in Rays colors. Very soon you will start to see big ass banners around town hanging off buildings. Very soon you will see an almost billion dollar stadium being built (hopefully). Very soon you will see a baseball team rejuvenated. Very soon you will see a empty hole in the wall in down town St. Pete. In a city who never supported a major league baseball team the way they should have. I was a little saddened  to see them leave St. Pete. I’ve watched them play games there since day 1. But honestly, I cant wait for this move to happen. Just by lighting the buildings blue and yellow, have showed me enough to believe that the Tampa Bay Rays will be in tremendous hands being in the heart of Tampa. I cant wait for this next chapter.

Is the 600 HR club still prestigious?

Is this once exclusive club still so exclusive? Does a player hitting 600 HR’s in their career still as big of a deal as it was years ago? In my eyes, absolutely yes. What appears to be in other people’s eyes, not so much. Big Albert “The Machine” Pujols just notched his 600th homerun and to some, you may not have even heard about it. Absolutely ridiculous. Why in the hell is this milestone that Pujols just received, not being talked about? I watched this at bat live and had a smile on my face as he rounded the bases and hug his teammates after crossing home plate. Why was I smiling? The guy just hit his 600th HR!!! There have only been 8 other players to reach this. Let me re type that so you can read it twice. ONLY 8 other players have reached this feat! Maybe it still isn’t clicking. Lets break this down a little further. There have been roughly 15,000+ baseball players to ever play in the major leagues. Now do you see why I’m a little pissed no one is acknowledging the work this man has put in? He is the 4th fastest player to hit 600. Oh, and lets not forget to mention that at least 3 of those 8 others, were busted for steroids. Now, I can’t sit here and say that Pujols has never done steroids but I can tell you that he has never been tested positive for them. If you’re anything like me, then the 3 that have been tested positive for PED, don’t even really count. If you have a problem with that, then explain to me why they should matter after cheating and getting an advantage.

Is the reason why Pujols 600th homerun is not being recognized because his bat has stalled over the last few years? Is it because he plays in L.A. but not for the bigger L.A. team? Is it because he’s not in the news for being a shit head person? I have had the pleasure of witnessing 5 of the 8 reach this milestone. Granted to me, A-Rod, Sosa, and Bonds got to that number with some help. Now I don’t want to take away everything from those goons but I mean lets be seriously, how many of those HR’s were hit with the help of the juice? Albert Pujols in my opinion is in the top 5 for greatest right handed hitters in the history of MLB.

You know what Pujols received when that 600th ball went flying over the fence? He got a cool 600 sign on the scoreboard. I don’t know, maybe my thinking on this is a little extreme, but I think this deserves to be recognized a lot more than what is has been. Another reason could be because ESPN is over here blowing every person associated with the NBA. Don’t even get me started on that train.

Albert Pujols, congratulations on hitting number 600. I look forward to seeing you mash number 700.

 

 

Harper vs. Strickland

By now I am sure everyone has watched what unfolded on Monday night during the Nationals vs. the Giants game. If you are living under a rock, here it is.

 

Okay, so there are quite a few things I want to go over regarding this video.

First, lets take you back to 2014. Game 1 of the NLDS. Hunter Strickland on the mound for the Giants and Bryce Harper at the plate for the Nationals. Take a guess what happens. Buh bye ball. Harper crushes a shot to right field and is amped. Now jump ahead just 3 games later. Strickland is on the mound again and facing Harper in the bottom of the 7th inning. Nationals down a few runs and their season on the line. Harper hits an absolute moon shot! He stands at the plate for a second, which a lot of people think he was being arrogant and you know the whole staring it down thing. In actuality, the ball was hit a long way and it was close to being a foul ball. In my opinion he was waiting to see if it would be fair or foul. After seeing the ball land in the ocean, Harper takes off around the bases. Hunter Strickland staring him down like he just hit on his sister. If you have played baseball before and you hit a home run in a moment like that you’re going to be pumped up. Harper was almost skipping around the bases with joy.

965 days later…..

Hunter Strickland on the mound facing his friend Bryce Harper. 2 outs. Up 2-0 in the 8th inning. A terrible spot to hit any batter. Here comes a 98 mph fastball to Bryce Harpers hip. Lets get one thing straight here. Getting hit by anything traveling 98 mph is going to hurt. Strickland obviously did not forget about Harper launching two baseballs into space on him 3 years ago. Harper’s immediate reaction was pissed. Who wouldn’t be. He pointed his bat toward Strickland waiting to see his response. Of course he just stared at him so the switch flipped and Bryce went hauling ass after him. What transpired next, was pretty embarrassing. The throw away of the helmet was just as bad as 50 cent throwing out the first pitch. I give credit to Harper for going after him. Strickland is no small dude. 6’3 230 pounds is no lightweight. You cant even call it a brawl.  A few jabs were thrown and then a bunch of men grabbing each other and pulling people away. What I thought was the funniest of it all was, it took 3 guys to pull Strickland away and poor Hunter Pence gets his face mushed. It was little much though. Hunter Strickland was all the way to the dugout with 3 people on him and 65 other players between him and Harper and he was still acting like tough man trying to get free.

The next thing I want to talk about is Buster Posey. If you look up any batter charging the mound or an altercation between a batter and pitcher, you immediately see the catcher try to intervene. To at least try and get in between the batter so he doesn’t rip the pitchers head off. A great example of that is when A-rod caught a fat lip from Jason Varitek’s catchers mitt. After watching the fight several times, I couldn’t help but to notice Buster Posey sitting behind home plate not moving a muscle. Posey didn’t move from his spot until the benches were already over the foul lines. Who are you stopping at that point? The only person you’re getting to is the bench coach who is just strolling on the field to stretch his legs. Now here is the real question. Did Buster Posey know that Strickland was going to plunk him? Even if he didn’t, Buster has to at least attempt to look like he is sticking up for his teammate. I don’t care if you don’t like the guy, you try and step in between them. Have a conversation in the clubhouse and smack the shit out of him behind closed doors for not getting over home runs hit 3 years ago. If Strickland were to hit every batter that’s hit a home run off him, he would reach his pitch count. Five times. Where I come from, your teammates are your brothers. Even if you don’t like them. When you are on the field and wearing the same jersey, that’s your boy. He said in his post game comments “those are some big boys out there.” Come onnn man.

How can you be upset with Harper for charging the mound? What a lot of people don’t get is, a baseball is a weapon. Any way you look at it, its a weapon. To throw it at someone as fast as you can is not right. Bryce Harper should have taken that helmet and squared it up right between the eyes of Strickland. Even then, it wouldn’t have been equal. I applaud him for just wanting to use his fist to even the score. I wish he would have straight up tomb stoned his ass right there on the mound. Then on the way back to the dug out, signal for a beer and crush it on the way down the tunnel. That would have made that weak ass fight so much better.

 

To suspend Harper 4 games and Strickland 6 games is a joke. If you break it down that’s a total of 3 innings missed for Strickland (which the Giants are probably better off) and that would be 32 innings and approximately 16-20 at bats for Harper. That’s HUGE! A guy of that caliber missing that amount of time because of someone hurling a fastball at him is wrong. The MLB needs to be way more strict with these types of things. Its not right or fair for a pitcher to deliberately chuck a baseball at someone that could potentially cause damage (see Giancarlo Stanton), and only have to miss 3 lousy innings. This was clearly intentional and the league needs to really crack down on this. All of these other sports are so concerned for player safety. The MLB took away the collisions at the plate, the slide rule at second base, but yet you can fire baseballs at someone as fast as you can. Don’t get me wrong, batters are hit all the time, but not intentionally! There is a difference. For Strickland to sit there and say the ball got away from him is a joke. Let him stand up there with a bat in his hand and take a 98 mph fast ball to the hip. Wouldn’t striking the guy out just feel so much better than making yourself look like a jackass? Hunter Strickland gets the ass hat of the day.

 

Lets take a look back at the “best” brawls of baseball. Enjoy!

 

 

 

ESPN cuts loose

100 people were laid off by the powerhouse ESPN yesterday. A sad day for those reporters and ocn air host who lost their job. A ton of them who are veterans to the game and who have been around a looooong time. What in the hell is ESPN doing? I heard rumors that this was coming but it really set me off when I read the tweet from Ed Weder saying he was let go. Let’s rewind just 30 minutes before that tweet. The poor guy tweeted out a picture of his dog with what appears to be his significant other (?) hand feeding it with a spoon. Telling the world that his dog was in his final days of life. You couldn’t have waited to tell the guy the next day that he was out of a job? That’s just dirty. Tons of other big names were let go as well. Like that bald guy Trent Dilfer. No more Dilfer Dimes?! Damn man now I’m upset. ESPN decided to get rid of every single soul that covers hockey for them. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SECOND ROUND OF PLAYOFFS! I have a couple issues with this. 1. Like I just mentioned, it’s literally the second round of the Stanley Cup Playoffs. 2. Why the hell does this network not care about the sport of hockey? They haven’t cared about hockey since…ever? And last but certainly not least, Im not sure if I can only listen to Barry mullet Melrose for the 30 seconds that they do get coverage. How did he make the cut? 

Speaking of making the cut. How in cows shit did Stephen A Smith make the cut? Why is this asshole still on TV? Every time he’s on my tv screen I have to turn the volume down 13 notches. Why does he scream every time he speaks? The guy acts like he’s the king when it comes to NBA coverage. Or any coverage for that matter. No, Stephen A Smith, I don’t hate you because you’re black. I just hate your coverage of sports.  Someone get this string bean head out of here.  

ESPN President John Skipper said that shows like “SC6” with Michael Smith and Jemele Hill is what he wants to “power the franchise in the future.” Uhhh first off, what? Big head scratcher. THAT’S who you want to be the powerhouse? I can’t say that I have been able to last more than 7 minutes into that show. Total snooze fest. This can’t be serious. My man Stewart Scott is turning in his grave right now. Hey Mr. President, why don’t you skip your ass out of town as well. 

ESPN has turned into this dreadful sports network. I can’t lie, I am on the website through out the day multiple times. I don’t know where else to go for main sports coverage. I’m just about sick and tired of reading bogus stories that are completely irrielevant to what’s happening in the sports world. I don’t care if someone dyed their hair, I don’t care that someone didn’t want to attend the White House, and I certainly don’t care about Harbourgh giving the Pope a pair of Jordan’s and a helmet. This network has turned into this entertainment station with very little news. Im curious to see where ESPN will be in 5 years from now. 

Where do you go for your sports NEWS?

Sports Round-Up

Guess who’s back! I have been away for a month or so taking care of my beautiful daughter. So for that, I would like to take this chance to apologize….TO ABSOLUTELY NOBODY! 

 

There have been a lot of things going on since my last article. The NHL playoffs have arrived, the NBA playoffs have arrived, MLB has started, and The Maters came and went. I have a little bit to say about all of these things so lets get to it!

The NHL playoffs. Although I am very upset the Tampa Bay Lightning did not make the playoffs this season, I am pretty stoked for the years ahead for that young team. With that being said, I am not sure what brings me more joy, getting to watch the Lightning play for a Stanley Cup or to see the Chicago Blackhawks get beat!!! Not only did they just get beat, they got their asses handed to them! A first round sweeping of a team a lot of people including myself who had them making and winning the finals, is a beautiful thing. Break out the golf clubs boys. The Toronto Maple Leafs made the playoffs. Yes you read that correct.  Its been 100 years since they made it to the Stanley Cup Finals. Maybe not 100 but it sure feels like it. 48 years to be exact. Lets take a quick look at what was around 48 years ago. The gun slinger Brett Favre was making his first appearance from the womb. Neil Armstrong landed on the moon. I think that just enough sums up the drought they’ve been in. Austin Matthews is the only reason that team is there. That kid can flat out play! You get the chance to see two of the youngest and best players in the game play in these playoffs. On the other coast you have Connor McDavid and the Edmonton Oilers going up against the San Jose Sharks. Connor McDavid is something special. Led the league with 100 points! The next closest to him had 83. If you want to watch what could be a legend in the making… keep your eyes on this guy. There are a lot of close matches in this year Stanley Cup playoffs. Here are my predictions on what will unfold in the next few weeks. Eastern Conference Championship comes down to Pittsburg Penguins and the New York Rangers. I believe the Pens come out on top to make it to the finals. On the other coast I originally had Chicago winning it all ( what a dummy). My new prediction is that the Western Conference Finals will be the Edmonton Oilers vs the St. Louis Blues. I think Edmonton makes it way into the finals against the Pens. When its all said and done, I have cry baby Crosby hoisting Lords Stanley Cup. Hurts my soul to say but I think it happens.

 

The NBA regular season came to an end. Thank you baby Jesus. Was it just me or did the NBA season feel like it just dragged on this year. Maybe because I was over hearing about the NY Knicks trash can of a team, the Buss family feud, and having to hear people bitch about star players sitting out and “resting”. Im not even going to get into that nonsense so lets take a look at what the playoffs has to offer us. Right off the bat, two MVP’s candidates going head to head is the most exciting thing to me in this years post season. Russ Westbrook and the beard James Harden carrying their teams on their back. With that being said, I believe the Rockets win the series and Russ wins the MVP. Matter of fact, if he doesn’t win MVP, ill never watch another basketball game again. (That’s a total lie, I’ve said that about every other sport and I still get sucked it) Cleveland beating Indian is no surprise even though they have yet to play 4 good quarters of basketball. They have let the Pacers in and a chance to win every game so far. The Cav’s defense has been terrible. Its a good thing they have someone named Lebron James. Quite frankly, thats all you need. The Celtics dropped the first two to Chicago and then the injury bug found its way back into the Bulls locker room. Rondo goes and breaks his thumb. I swear, ever since Derrick Rose started his career with the Chicago Bulls, they have had nothing but back luck due to injuries. Derrick Rose completely laid a jinx on that team. Celtics needed 2 games to pull their head out of their asses to figure it out and I think they will win the series. The clippers going toe to toe (see what I did there) with the Utah Jazz. Blake Griffin out the rest of the post season with a TOE injury! I know that toe has got to be pretty large but come on! This is when you have to come up with and fake a different injury. I would have rather heard you slammed 3 fingers in the car door then hear your are done for the year because of your big toe. Same thing in football. Turf toe? What does that even mean?! Did you stub your toe? Do you have a hang nail? Just not a good look in my opinion. The Clippers are doomed again. Here are my predictions. Spurs vs Golden State in the Western Conference Finals with Golden State getting to the finals. Eastern Conference Finals will be Celtics and Cav’s with the Cav’s reaching the finals. In the end I have Golden State Warriors and Kevin Durant as the NBA champions. Wooptidoo.

 

The MLB season finally arrived and it got off to a pretty good start. The Baltimore Orioles jumped out to the best record in the majors in the first 2 weeks by going 11-4. Surprisingly the Toronto Blue Jays had the worst start than the rest of the league at 4-12.  Eric Thames is out here crushing baseballs like he’s playing on a little league field. The guy has 8 home runs already and thats 3 less than his total in any given season. Someone give that guy a piss test already! Bryce Harper ( my National League MVP prediction) is hotter than a Rob/Rex Ryan coaching seat. Madison Bumgarner wrecked his shoulder and ribs by trying to be Travis Pastrana apparently. Why the hell are you riding a dirt bike on your day off? Sterling Marte was busted for using steroids. 80 games unpaid down the drain. I  wonder if Andrew McCutchen snickered a little as he started walking back to his center field position. I am a fan of the suspensions length for using performance enhancing drugs. Seeing that its an unpaid 80 games they should take that money and pick a lucky fan. Its a long season ahead of us. Who will we will talk about the most this season? Here are my predictions for this year. Cleveland and Houston in the ALCS and in the NLCS I have Chicago Cubs vs the Washington Nationals. A World Series showdown between the Chicago Cubs and the Houston Astros. Both crazy young teams with a ton of talent. I think the Cubs have a little more talent and now the experience. They win back to back championships. The start of a dynasty.

The Masters. Sergio Garcia. I almost didn’t even want to write about this with how much I cant stand Sergio Garcia. If there was one guy on the tour that I wish came in last place every single tournament, it would be this ass hat. After taking that racial jab at my boy Tiger Woods, I want Sergio to hit every single shot he takes into the water. Even if there isn’t water on that particular hole, I hope he somehow finds water. I was fat girl belly laughing when he was starting to fall apart on the back nine on the final day. I jumped for joy when he pushed the winning putt right, on 18. Then he comes back and wins the playoff hole. I don’t think I have ever been so heated before watching golf. I didn’t even know that sport could make you mad watching! I was hoping someone wiped their ass with that green jacket before putting it on him. Oh, and another thing that just kind of irritated me, was the constant thumbs up and slap on the asses between Sergio and Justin Rose. I get it, you want to grow the sport and show good sportsman ship, but it really got out of hand. If I’m playing someone and there is more than $20 on the line, I’m not even going to look at you! These guys had $2 million on the line and they are over here giving each other massages on the 17th tee box. I need to feel like I’m watching a battle. Not seeing who gives the best high five or thumbs up! Cut the shit.

Anyway, we have the NFL Draft coming up in less than a week. Another draft to see how horrendous Mel Kiper Jr.’s mock draft board looks. I want that job. Other than being a weather man, its about the only other job you can be completely wrong every single time and still catch no heat for it. When is someone going to call him out? He sucks. Pay me in chipotle gift cards and Ill give you a better mock draft than that jabroni.

New Orleans Pigeons

New Orleans Pigeons. Wait. Pelicans. Sorry. The other shitty bird. As we all know, or don’t if you live under a rock, the Pelicans made the biggest splatter (pun intended) before the trade deadline by acquiring Demarcus “Boogie” Cousins. At first after looking at who and what the Pelicans gave up for Cousins, I thought they were a little crazy to give up their first round pick Buddy Hield (6th overall) along with a 2017 first and second round draft pick. There were other players they sent to the Kings but honestly, they aren’t worth mentioning. My original thinking was that they just gave up a ton of young talent. Then I thought back just a few nights before the trade happened to a game that Buddy Hield was called for a technical foul and was ejected. If you happen to miss what happened or why he was ejected…. let me remind you. Take a look.

The man straight up reached in to grab meat. He thought this was a grab and go at the local 7/11 gas station. A grown man was ejected for grabbing ahold of another mans pipe. Thats completely unacceptable. If this was a pick up game at the rec, you better believe someone is getting at least a 2 piece. You better be ready to fight if you pull a stunt like that. How Cousins didn’t put him to sleep right then and there is beyond me. Maybe he liked it? Anyway, Hield has got to go, and thats probably the reason they sent him to Sacramento in the trade.

Alright, lets talk about this professional basketball team they call the Pelicans. Anthony Davis is a beast. This isn’t about Anthony Davis. Demarcus Cousins is a monster. This isn’t about Demarcus Cousins. This is about the rest of the bird shit around these two guys. You have a bunch of bums that I’m not sure how they are in the league. Let alone the D league. Solomon Hill. The guy looks like a damn tator tot. If he’s not a made up player from NBA2k then I don’t know what to tell you. One thing I can tell you is, you cant be a terrible basketball player and look like an old q-tip. Absolutely no reason that guy should be making $11 million a year.

Lets move on to the next guard. E’Twaun Moore. This guy has played for more teams in the last 6 seasons, than the Brooklyn Nets have wins this season. Okay okay maybe not that bad but almost! 4 teams in 6 seasons? Why does no one want this guy? Is it his name? Is it because he goes off every night for an average of 6 points? Is it the 1.5 assist he dishes out per game? Again, Im not sure how this man is even in the NBA.

Jru Holiday. The smallest splatter of bird shit out of all the guards. He can at least average 14 points a night. Shit, Davis and Cousins have to score 45 each every  night for them to even have a chance. As long as Holiday can give them 14 a night, they might just…no they still won’t have a chance.

If you want something to laugh at, google the New Orleans Pelicans bench players. Those guys are doing absolutely nothing. The only thing they are good for is being hype men to Davis and Cousins swatting balls. And no, not swatting balls like Hield did, Im talking about blocking basketballs 3 rows deep. The Pelicans are on the fast pace to last place. I feel terrible for Davis and Cousins. Both of them in the top 5 in scoring this season and they have to watch this shit every night? I have an idea Alvin Gentry, every single play needs to be drawn up for the two big guys. Get the ball out of the hands of these other guys and let the big boys go to work. I really hope the Pelicans can make some moves this offseason to help out The Brow and Boogie. I know that one thing is for certain, they won’t be able to make any more trades with the guys they have.

By the way, after the loss to the Houston Rockets the other night, only 2 players had more than 12 points. Take a shot in the dark on who they were.  Cousins and Davis scored more than half the total points. It’s almost as painful to watch as it is to watch an episode of America’s funniest home videos. Ehhhh maybe not that painful. That show sucks out loud.

This is Anthony Davis after looking at the production of his guards the other night. His stress level has now caused his Brow to fully wrap around his head. This is just getting out of control.

 

 

Magic is what the Lakers need..

The Los Angeles Lakers are finally going to get some magic their way. Jeanie Buss, part owner and president of the Lakers, laid down the hammer yesterday by hiring Earvin “Magic” Johnson as president of basketball operations. This meaning Jim Buss has been fired. Im still slightly confused of this. Jim Buss is part owner of the team. He can get fired? Thats some bullshit. Not bullshit that he was fired, because he needed to be fired years ago, but how a part owner can be fired from his job is mind boggling to me. Someone who signs a guy by the name of Timofey Mozgov to a $64 million dollar contract needed to be immediately let go and slapped in the face. Such a solid pick up there Mr. Buss. Well, Magic Johnson is here for the rescue. He stated weeks ago that if he were to get the job of president of basketball operations, his first call would be to Kobe Bryant. It’s going to take a lot more than Kobe Bryant to get this team back to what it once was. The only thing promising for the Lakers is Brandon Ingram. Every one else looks like a train wreck. Speaking of train wreck, what in the hell is Metta World Peace doing still playing basketball. Averaging a whopping 1 point a game and just under 4 minutes of play time. How is he even getting 4 minutes on the court, Luke Walton? He has got to go. If you look up and down the Lakers bench, you can’t help but scratch your head and think how it got to this point. They hung on to the Kobe train as long as humanly possible and totally forgot that he was going to call it quits one day. Well this is what you get. A shitty team. The Los Angeles Lakes, sitting a half a game out of last place in the western conference, is in need of some serious help from Magic. I think its  great hire. I think Magic and the pieces he puts in place in the front office will get this team back to what it once was. It will surely take some time, but you can’t count out Magic and the possible return of Kobe in the front office. The bright side to the whole thing is, they don’t have Vlade Divac running the team.  That big Andre the Giant sound alike, has lost his damn mind. What do you think happens with the Lakers? How long before you see them as a playoff contender?

Who is the GREATEST Athlete of ALL time?

Such a vague question. Who is the greatest athlete of all time? Yes its hard to compare certain players from all different sports but you can get an idea of who is the greatest athlete. Listen to what I’m saying you knuckleheads.  Athlete. Incase you’re not sure what athlete means let me give you a quick run down. A word that many people do not understand. Here is the definition of an Athlete. A person who is proficient in sports and other forms of physical exercise. You catch the ending of that? Other forms of exercise. So before you start shouting out some names lets hit on some criteria.

1. Each athlete has his/her own accomplishments in their specific sport. For example; Self accomplishments such as MVP’s, records they set, their overall career stats, how many all star games they’ve been a part of (this part is a little sketchy because of fan votes), also how many seasons or years they played in their sport.
2. How long were they better than every one else. If it was 1-2 years, please save me the hassle of having to read your shitty opinion. How much better were they than the rest of the field. Was it a night and day difference? Was is obvious that they were the king/queen of the sport at the time?
3. Were they consistently great at what they did? Not a year here and then 3 years later great again. Im talking every year.
4. What was in the impact they had on their specific team or the sport in general? If a player comes to mind who was involved in a team sport, if you took them off the team, would there be a dramatic drop off? What type of impact did they have on the sport all together?
5. Could they do things that other players just could not do if their life depended on it?
6. Did they shine in multiple sports or different athletic things other than the main sport they played?
7. Did other players/coaches hate playing against or fear having to play against them?

These are some things to consider before shouting out a name. If they don’t meet the criteria above, then I don’t want to hear it. Now, put on your thinking cap and rattle off who you think was the GREATEST ATHLETE of ALL TIME? Let the fun begin.

Of course, I have to let you know who I think is the greatest ATHLETE of all time. In MY opinion the greatest athlete is…… que the drum roll….. BO JACKSON!! The guy was a freak of nature and hits on every single criteria I mentioned above. Please take 6 minutes of your life and watch this video.